'AITA for getting an anesthesiologist fired for the way she treated my wife?' (2024)

They set up the tray, sat my partner up, and got her ready. This woman—this absolute moron—couldn't get the epidural in. Now, I know what you're thinking: I'm being an a%#^ole because it's not easy. Oh, contraire, mon frère, every time she didn't get it in right, it gave my partner a severe contraction, which she would then tut and huff at.

After the 6th attempt, my partner screamed with a contraction. The anesthesiologist said, "Really now? I can't do this if you keep moving!" I snapped and told her to get out—I wanted someone else. She threw the needle down on the tray and walked out.

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I immediately apologized to the midwives and the matron, but my priority is obviously my partner and child. They agreed and started comforting my partner with me, who was screaming again and crying as she gripped onto my shirt.

Not long after, a gentleman came in, introduced himself, and said, "Let's get you some relief, shall we?" When he positioned himself behind my partner, he looked at her back, and his face hardened. I swear I saw a vein twitch next to his eye.

He got a new kit, told my partner to breathe in and hold, and that was it. Done, one go. No contractions, just relief. When she was settled, I left the room for a moment to talk to the gentleman about what was wrong. He looked at me, put a hand on my shoulder, and told me he'd explain when he came back to take it out, but I wouldn't like it.

Our daughter was born not long after, and my partner was doing great. A few stitches, but nowhere near as bad as our first. She needed some drops for her eyes, as they were pretty raw from the pressure and other things. When the man came back and took out the epidural catheter, he looked more serious and asked me to come around and look at her back.

There were 7 holes and severe bruising already (6 from the first, 1 from him). He said this shouldn't have happened to begin with, and he was extremely angry. In his opinion, we should make a formal complaint, as something like this could cause temporary or permanent damage.

While my partner was recovering and breastfeeding, I took the opportunity to go through with the complaint and took pictures of her back for the next few days. It was awful. Now, where I might be the a%^&ole: We were at the hospital for my partner to have a cervical biopsy, and as we were leaving, we ran into the matron who recognized us and asked how we were doing, thanking us for the flowers we sent them.

She elaborated that the anesthesiologist was let go, and she hasn't heard of her being hired at any other hospital. After picking the kids up from my mum and sister, we told them about what the matron had said. That's when my sister-in-law (one of my brother's wives) came in and heard. She was very angry that we basically made this woman lose her job over a simple mistake.

She said the anesthesiologist was probably just stressed and insulted my partner, saying she was probably being difficult because she has borderline personality disorder. My partner was in so much pain she could hardly talk, let alone be "difficult." We had a massive argument and eventually left. Did I actually go too harshly?

Here are the top comments:

AcademicMud3901 says:

Doctors don’t throw each other under the bus casually. The fact that the second anesthesiologist actually said something to you and recommended you file a complaint against their own colleague speaks volumes. It’s obvious he has seen sketchy practice with this woman before and had concerns.

He may have complained to the head of anesthesia himself. Firing a physician isn’t taken lightly and usually not after a single complaint from a patient. There was likely history of complaints there and yours was the final straw. You saved a future patient from being harmed by her. NTA.

plaidprettypatty says:

You were advised by a better doctor to file a complaint, your SIL is ignorant to the situation (and being extremely disgusting by using your wife's BPD against her, I'd definitely either go LC or NC with her, she will harm your wife's mental health) and has no say, even if her emotions feel justified. NTA.

Anon1992_ says:

Nurse here...If we ever ask you to get a second opinion or to make a complaint,do it. If a doctor said to do it then it's even more serious. Nurses are patient advocates. Well done.

rosered936 says:

You didn’t get her fired. She did by doing a bad job. Hospitals don’t care about complaints unless they are legitimate. You provided evidence that she was a liability before she was able to seriously injure someone. They acted on that evidence. It wasn’t a simple mistake.

What do you think?